Not Lily
by amonstercourtinginsanity
Summary: What if Harry looked like Lily with James' eyes? How would Snape react? A summary of the series if Harry's looks were reversed.


The potions master is not expecting the sight that greats him that first class. He is unprepared for the sudden emotional turmoil of seeing the love of his life sitting in the potions lab until he blinks and realizes that this cannot be his Lily because Lily is dead, and maybe Snape is a bit crueler than usual, maybe Snape tosses N.E.W.T. level questions at this boy because this child has the audacity to look like everything he once had and lost. But Snape still slips that hidden meaning in there because gods know he regrets it, even if the boy will never know what he said. Snape watches from afar as Harry Potter defeats evil after evil, always coming out on top. Snape works to ensure Lily's son is always safe. After some time the incessant ache in his chest dulls a bit. Eventually he is able to look at the Boy Who Lived and not immediately think of what he lost. Maybe Snape begins to soften his cruel treatment of this boy who so clearly is not his parents (though he would never admit it). Perhaps Snape cannot be kind, exactly. After all, the dark lord is lurking. He cannot allow the Death Eaters who escaped prison to think he is sympathizing which the Gryffindors–much less the Boy Who Lived–but perhaps he is not quite so unnecessarily hateful and unfair.

Then everything happens. Voldemort is back. The dark mark is burning. Umbridge has taken over the school and Snape can do nothing because he is bound by a loyalty and a lie that keep him immobile and trapped. One lesson Snape catches sight of Harry's scarred hand and all he can think is that _Umbridge did that to Lily's son_. And so when Harry tells him that "He's got Padfoot!" Snape rushes to the Order of the Phoenix. He might not like the mutt but he cannot allow this. He has a duty (two, really) and to hell with his own feelings. He reaches 12 Grimauld Place only to find everyone intact, and Sirius safe and cruel as ever. Snape returns to Hogwarts to discover the golden and silver trios gone and Umbridge no where to be found. He cannot join what is no doubt a battle raging for fear of discovery, and so he waits at Hogwarts. The potions master snarls at the children in the halls with more vigor than usual and paces in his rooms. Then he is summoned to Dumbledore's office and is confronted with a grief stricken Lily ( _Harry_ , he reminds himself, _that is Harry Potter_ ) and a headmaster who seems older than ever before.

Harry is dismantling the office violently, screaming and sobbing in equal measure and Snape cannot find it in himself to be angry. Not when it is partially his own fault and he remembers how it felt when he lost Lily. So he stands in the corner and plays his part as uncaring potions master and leaves once Harry is sent to bed feeling like an empty shell.

Over the summer Dumbledore injures his hand hunting the destruction of the Dark Lord and Snape is unfairly furious that the one person who has been kind to him that is still alive would put themselves is such foolish peril. The school year starts with a new vow to protect a boy who is being dragged into the depths of darkness and a broken Boy Who Lived who seems utterly obsessed with Draco. Snape thinks he might come close to tears for the first time since Lily's death when Dumbledore tells him what he must do, but he swallows emotion down (just like always) and agrees.

Harry looks more like Lily than ever this year, and Snape is not sure why. With Dumbledore's death he feels the last kernel of love and happiness crumble, and his job overtakes his entire life. He cannot bring himself to care that his colleagues (who once treated him civilly and with the occasional kindness) now look at him with curled lips and hate in their eyes. All he wants is the death of the man who has taken everything from him and the safety of children who he now must attempt to protect. One day he will see Lily again, and that keeps him going.

He listens to Potterwatch religiously (under careful protection charms and unsurpassable barriers) and turns a blind eye to both the DA and Death Eaters. When he flees the school a bit of his shriveled heart fragments. Snape had always hoped he would die a friend as opposed to the foe they now perceive. He stands by Voldemort as hogwarts is invaded and bodies pile up.

The potions master sees Harry's hair during his meeting with the Dark Lord, he knows what will happen, where he will end, so he plays the hated part of servant one last time. Nagini's bite is swift and pain filled but he can no longer care.

He is going to see Lily again. She will hate him but it doesn't matter.

He makes eye contact with Harry one last time as the tears finally fall, because he doesn't want to die hated by those he tried to help, no matter what he told himself.

Severus Snape is no more.

 **Hello Lovelies!**  
 **This was inspired by a tumblr post (it's actually on there, too) but I wanted to share this quick one shot with my wonderful readers! I really love snape so this is my contribution.**


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